Will You Learn?
by Yumerio patissiere lover
Summary: Amu is tired of her declining health, it seems like nothing will work until someone comes along. Her new teacher Ikuto Tsukiyomi. Will she learn how to love? Will he love her back? Mentions dark themes like suicide and depression.
1. Chapter 1

Amu stared out of the window, it was the start if another year it was the same thing her declining grades, friendship circle and health. If you wanted to know Amu had a health situation where she had depression which lead to anxiety which then lead to panic attacks which then lead to her missing school which then made her lose friends all of this happening one after another just in a constant loop until something new would come up and make her life more miserable. And that was today, today was a new start, her first year into high school. Many of the people she knew stay her where all her rich friends left her to go on to better, fancier High schools. /span/em/p  
"It wasn't like Amu was poor in fact she came from a rich family who had provided her with the best therapists, but nothing worked. No drugs, no therapist, no amount of seeing people could cure her. The amount of times she had felt worthless, the amount of times she had scared herself was ridiculous. Everyone she knew said this one line, and she was close to murdering anyone else who dared even think it in front of her. "if you don't love yourself, who will love you?" "That one line haunting her from early childhood. Her parents constantly pushing the shy, awkward Amu to make friends had constantly said this line until it sunk into her. They didn't love her. Aged 7 she had her first doubts, what had she done wrong? Was she a chore? She could run away but to where? She had no relatives nearby? No body comforting this young child when the seeds of doubt had sunk into her stomach making her gag at the thought of being unloved.

"Right listen up everybody" a steady, manly voice reaped attention. Amu looked up for a brief instance, brief enough for her to notice his dark eyes and navy hair. She looked back down unbothered by what the teacher was saying until she heard some girls saying, "how old are you?" "7 years older than you guys, I am sure you can do the maths" the girls squeal at a deafening pitch. He turned to face her staring deeply into her eyes and smiling lightly "do you have a question for me?" "huh, me? No nothing" she mumbled startled. He smiled and responded, "so do you mind if I ask you something?" "sure" she vaguely smiled back, "is your pink hair natural? You know that you can't dye your hair until you are in year 13." Amu rolled her eyes groaning internally "yes its natural my parent had my genes genetically modified before I was born hence it might not be natural, but I was born with it so unless you want to me to break the school rules and dye my hair a natural colour" he nodded and moving on not paying any heed to the pink heads eyes being glued to him and glaring holes into his head.

"Amu zoned out for the rest of the lesson but was startled when the bell rang, and she was asked to stay behind. He moved across the room and towered over her and asked "really Amu? Not paying attention that requires a detention you will catch up and at least try to remember my name, it's Ikuto Tsukuyomi""Hope you guys liked it! RR! don't hesitate to pm if you want to talk about anything!/span/em/p


	2. Chapter 2-dentention

_Hey guys, I just need to tell you that this chapter is on really sensitive topics such as suicide. So, I suggest readers discretion. Love you guys and if you are suffering please don't hesitate to reach out to people who care about! _

_Recap:_ _Amu zoned out for the rest of the lesson but was startled when the bell rang, and she was asked to stay behind. He moved across the room and towered over her and asked "really Amu? Not paying attention that requires a detention you will catch up and at least try to remember my name, it's Ikuto Tsukuyomi" _

_Startled Amu gapes at her teacher's face. It was impossible, Amu had never been caught for zoning out or even punished for it. The idea seemed so foreign to her. So, she just sat there stunned as her teacher sat on the desk opposite hers, staring intently until he spoke "so what made you think that zone out while I was going through someone of the basics? Are you that confident?" _

_Amu wanted to yawn but gave up on the thought, instead she responded, "it's not that I am confident but I just don't get maths and there is no point for me to even try its not like my parents will let take the exams this year, 'she is not mentally stable enough to take the tests' that's what they have been saying for the last two years, I am not even supposed to even be here I should have been in my 1__st__ year of university!" all the words that were pilling up in her head like bricks weighing her down just spilled out her mouth. She didn't even care, even if he knew what he could do…nothing. 'No one can do anything for me, it's as simple as that and their pity is worthless'_

"_So, you said mental stable, right? Why aren't you mentally stable enough to take these tests?" Ikuto asked, he tried connecting some pieces, but nothing clicked. She didn't seem like she was lying she seem way older than the kids he was teaching a couple of minutes ago. She had a better, more toned body than the slim bodies of second year high school students. Amu scoffed, how pathetic if a teacher couldn't solve the obvious mystery of depression. "I am depressed, I have been since the start of middle school, it made my parents' divorce only after my father cheated and blamed me and took my younger sister. They still come together every month to make my life worse" Amu said easily, it didn't hurt her anymore since she talked to her therapist everyday after school the same repetitive, it came to her easily now. Ikuto nodded still thinking, 'what was her trigger, there must have been a trigger for her depression the human mind is more logical than another species on the planet, she wouldn't suddenly become depressed for no reason, but it doesn't seem like she knows.' _

"_I don't care, you will not zone out in any of you lessons this year, I want to see all my students pass this year, do you understand me Ms. Hinamori?" Ikuto said harshly, ignoring the fuming look on her face it was probably better than letting her wallow in the pity other teacher and people provided her. Amu fumed, what did this teacher not get? She was clinically depressed, suicidal and even self-harming, and she couldn't zone out during the day because she needs to boast this teacher's ego letting him believe that all of his students will pass. Hah what a joke. _

"_So, can I go now?" Amu asked him as he got out of his seat to move towards the board. "Nope, you're are going to stay here and do the lesson again, and then I am going to test to see how much you absorbed, if it's not enough we will redo all the lessons you zoned out in after school, do understand me Ms. Hinamori?" he reprimanded her. _

_~~~after break~~~ _

_Amu stared at the test result in front of her. How long had it been since she had done so well? How long had it been since she listened to what was happening in the lesson? How long has it been since she scored 100% on her tests? Since middle school, that's how long it's been. Her life had been so different back then she had friends, everyone liked her, talked to her and it was all so fun but when did it change? Why did it change? Suddenly a memory replayed in her head…_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flash back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"_Onee-san, why are you so mean to me?" Ami asked looking up at her older sister. Just as the little whine left her mouth both her parents stormed over, screaming, shouting their lung out at Amu for being a terrible older sister. Tears left Amu's eyes as her parent's turned away from her in disgust, turning to give all of their love and attention on the youngest daughter…Ami _

_Ami was perfect, even if she did make a mistake it would be glossed over like it was nothing. And if it was Amu, she would never hear the end of it. Suddenly Amu collapsed, when she woke up, she was laying in the same place. _

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_That was when her depression started acting up. She couldn't go near her sister. She avoided Ami like the plague because of the hurt that welled up in her heart. _

_Leaving her thoughts aside, she focused on her lessons, and focused even more until the end of the day she didn't lose her focus. She walked out of her class and towards the staff room to find the snobby teacher. She knocked on the door and saw Ikuto come out, "oh hey, Ms. Hinamori! Did you bring your report back?" he asked cheerfully as if he wasn't the cause for to go on the negative report. She rolled her eyes and handed him the report. A sudden epiphany hit her "sensei I can't have my parents sign the report; they would kill me if they found out."_

_He simply nodded as if he expected that. "you did better than I thought you would. Okay, you can go, I will keep this with me." Amu suddenly said "wait, sensei thank you for today, I didn't realise it had been so long since I tried in the lessons, if you hadn't given me that break detention I may never have realised that this is the way to get over my depression." She looked down as a blush took over face. His soft smile turned into a smirk as he saw her blushing, grabbing her chin making her look at him he said "Amu-Chan are you crushing on me already? Boi do you fall quickly, I can't wait to see you tomorrow, Amu-Chan!" he walked into the staff room cheerfully waving her off. _

_R&R guys, tell me what you think! _


	3. Chapter 3- therapy

_**Heyy guys! It's mee! So, since the world is in a health crises and there is a global pandemic, it thought now would be a great time to entertain you with my ridiculous story plot and writing! So here you go! Please remember this story contains, mature topics like self-harm and suicidal thoughts, viewers discretion.**_

_ **Recap**__: -He simply nodded as if he expected that. "you did better than I thought you would. Okay, you can go, I will keep this with me." Amu suddenly said "wait, sensei thank you for today, I didn't realise it had been so long since I tried in the lessons, if you hadn't given me that break detention I may never have realised that this might be the way to get over my depression." She looked down as a blush grazed over her cheeks out of pure embarrassment. His soft smile turned into a smirk as he saw her blushing, grabbing her chin making her look at him he said "Amu-Chan are you crushing on me already? Boi do you fall quickly, I can't wait to see you tomorrow, Amu-Chan!" he walked into the staff room cheerfully waving her_

_Chapter 3-therapy _

_"What the chicken brains just happened?" Amu screamed internally, as she sped away from the crime scene. She wanted to be disgusted and angry, her teacher, just openly flirted with her, IN A SCHOOL HALLWAY! Yet somehow, she wasn't. She didn't want to be angry at the person who had sort of helped her out. She didn't even have the energy to be angry. Glance up at the clock in the main hall, "SHIT!" she squealed, 'it's already this late?! Mom is going to kill me if I am late for therapy; again!' she mentally cringed as she already knew that no way in hell was, she going to make it on time _

_"MISS HINAMORI! Please do not swear in school, you must break that habit" A random teacher yelled as Amu bolted out of school and ran for her dear life all the way to the clinic. _

_~~~~~15 minutes later~~~~_

_"Hello, miss Hinamori, glad to see you didn't decide to skip today." __Kairi_ _monotonously said. Amu bit her lip in order to stop a snarky comment to slide past her. Tired from running she fell on to the cinnamon coloured chair and waited for the prying questions to bombard her but instead she was greeted with silence. She peaked a look at his face and gave up again. No way she could read that guy, his face was what you would call a brick. She made herself comfortable, she didn't mind not talking to him, maybe even ignoring his existence. That seemed fun. Somehow though, it wasn't very fun, she fidgeted underneath his unfaltering gaze. Slowly it felt like the silence was crawling up her skin and nibbling her skin like some pesky insects. "So, I am glad to see you are not asking any intrusive questions anymore but really, silence? Not that I mind of course." Amu casually mentioned. Somehow this caught Kairi's attention. "well miss Hinamori, I have to say this is new. Had I done this on any other occasion you would have been fine with it, but you seem… restless. Did something happen?" _

_"well since you asked…I GOT 100% IN MY TEST!" Amu suddenly boomed. Her excitement evident in her voice. Kairi cringed at the sudden loud statement thrown at him but he still managed to be surprised. He simply went from a surprised face to nodding and writing it down on his note pad. Amu knew this feeling, it was like she was being study in lab, being tested for abnormalities. It made her excitement fade and return to the feeling of sadness. When Kairi looked up nonchalantly he saw the indifference in her eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to put his notepad down. He was here because some rich family was paying him to listen to their daughter's problems nothing else. He also believed that a person can only be helped if they wished to be helped. If Amu didn't want to move on with her life, then why should he help her? _

_"so, what caused this sudden change?" he asked patiently. Amu lowered her eyes, focusing on the floor, she said "no reason, just felt like it because it was a new term, I thought maybe I could graduate." She heard a loud sigh, and an irritating repeating tap on the notepad. She already knew the answer as she asked the question but had to ask it anyways. Damn that teacher, damn Tsukiyomi Ikuto. How could he let her believe that she would graduate this year? "Miss Hinamori, you know that I can only let you take the exams when you are no longer considered clinically depressed otherwise you will miss your state exams again, until you decide for yourself that you no longer want to be depressed you will continue down this path and I will not be able to help you." Kairi dictated once again. It had become routine at this point, every new year Amu would ask and would be turned down again, and so she would give up trying._

_ But not this year, this year she was going to tell him what had been bubbling inside of her for the past 3 years. "Kairi with all due respect- actually scrap that- with no due respect you have been sitting in the same chair, in the same room for the past 3 years and never have you tried to figure out the route of my depression! How is it fair for you to say that I get to decide, I never decided that I want to be depressed. I would have wanted to live my life, I want to be in first year of university, going to parties, making friends, getting a boyfriend. And no matter what, even if I was depressed, had I been given the choice or the chance I would have taken those exams and aced them. And you know that. As a person you know what my parents are like. I would not be here if you lot hadn't imprisoned me." Amu said with her eyes glaring into his own green ones. Kairi sighed again and leaned back into his chair. He knew everything but it wasn't his place to comment on anything, he was an experienced psychologist that was being payed £1000 per hour to help her, to keep her 'under control'. Amu continue to stare at his blank face, waiting for a response. Fed up she picked up her bag and left the room without a word. Kairi was used to that behaviour. She had done this so many time in the past 3 years, it was basically normal. _

_Amu walked out of the room, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. How stupid was she? Now she would have to go home, the last place she wanted to be. Dragging her feet to the lift, lifting her finger to press the button, waiting for the lift to arrive, getting and get out. The whole mundane process took more time then usual. She stepped out of the lift and left the massive building behind her, not look back, not looking up nor look around, keeping her trained eyes on the floor. Until she heard a voice. "AMU-CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" a wail resonated around the bustling street. Amu's eyes shot up as she recognised the voice. 'oh god, oh god noooo' Amu carefully looked back as she saw the girl had been in all of classes today. Her brown hair in two pig tails bouncing up and down as she ran up to Amu. She reached Amu in record time and grabbed her arm excitedly, squealing "Amu-chi, heyyy, you're in my class this year! I hope we can be friends! So, what you up to now? You just came out the best entertainment companies' door! Tell me everything!" Yaya blabbed on but suddenly went very silent waiting for her response. Amu felt like she was put on spotlight, she didn't know how to escape. So, she answered all of Yaya's questions. "hey... yeah, I am your class this year. I hope we get along well. Oh, I was talking to someone that works there and my parents own Easter…" she finished waiting for the gasps and the freeze that most people experience when she says that but that didn't come instead, she heard more feminine screams. "YAYA! DON'T RUN OFF LIKE THAT" 4 girls chased after Yaya, huffing trying to breath. She saw the other girls from her class, she was sure their names were Ran, Miki, Su and Pepe. At the same time deep voice interrupted from behind Amu. "you girls should get home soon" Ikuto said. _

_Thanks guys! I really appreciate your views. I am finally back and here to stay! I'll keep updating. Please R&R!_

_Love Zee_


	4. Chapter 4

_Heyyy guys! How have you been? I was incognito for like half a century, I know, I know! I am sorry but this stuff is going to be juicy. _

_Recap: -__. Her brown hair in two pig tails bouncing up and down as she ran up to Amu. She reached Amu in record time and grabbed her arm excitedly, squealing "Amu-chi, heyyy, you're in my class this year! I hope we can be friends! So, what you up to now? You just came out the best entertainment companies' door! Tell me everything!" Yaya blabbed on but suddenly went very silent waiting for her response. Amu felt like she was put on spotlight, she didn't know how to escape. So, she answered all of Yaya's questions. "hey... yeah, I am your class this year. I hope we get along well. Oh, I was talking to someone that works there and my parents own Easter…" she finished waiting for the gasps and the freeze that most people experience when she says that but that didn't come instead, she heard more feminine screams. "YAYA! DON'T RUN OFF LIKE THAT" 4 girls chased after Yaya, huffing trying to breath. She saw the other girls from her class, she was sure their names were Ran, Miki, Su and Pepe. At the same time deep voice interrupted from behind Amu. "you girls should get home soon" Ikuto said._

_~~~~Chapter 4~~~~~_

_Both girls looked in the direction of the voice. It was their homeroom teacher. "Sensei! What are you doing here? Do you want join us? Amu-chi, Ran, Miki, Su and Pepe and I are going shopping" Yaya asked ecstatically looking up to the tall man. As he stared directly at Amu, unflinching and coldly. "Miss Yuiki, you do realise I am your teacher, I can not fraternize with students." He said while maintaining uncomfortable eye contact with Amu. Meanwhile Yaya's face never even dropped and continued to smile and nodded simply as response. Yaya was turned away and was being told off by her other friends, noticing she was distracted, Ikuto took the chance to speak to Amu. "I thought you had an appointment? I'd rather you be studying science and maths; they weren't exactly your strong points." Amu was startled, she didn't want to see, like she was lying so she shook her head vehemently, denying almost everything he had stated. "No, no, no. Yaya saw me by chance when I was coming out of Easter. I had an appointment with my therapist. Let's just say it didn't go down too well but we did make some progress. I actually bought book to help me study" she brought her right hand up, which was holding a simple brown paper bag containing 14 different books. Some were novels but most of the books were title like "Algebra and how to conquer it" and "The Sciences". A small smile of pride showed on his face. "I am glad, if you are trying so hard, I think you could reward yourself with some time with her friends. Go out have fun. I have to go; I have my part time job at a manager at Easter" Ikuto said softly. He turned on his heel and walked swiftly to the Easter building that was looming grimly over their chatting figures. As he walks onwards, he sends the group of girls a short-wave goodbye and continued up the stairs to the cooperate building. The girls waved back giggling. "Amu-chi, you have to come shopping with me! My boyfriend is 9 years older than me and he is so dreamy. I need things to impress him, I think he like red lace, but I am not sure it will look goo on me, what do you think Amu-chi?" Yaya looks at Amu who is blushing all sorts of shades of pink to red! "Mou, Yaya you shouldn't do that to people, look at Amu. Amu are you okay? Do want to drink some water?" Ran and Su leaned over her and checked on her as they asked her questions._

_ When Amu had returned to her normal state of mind, she enjoyed a good laugh, it had been so long since she had laughed. It been so long since she had people asking her if she was fine, asking out of genuine concern that is. "Of course, I'll come with you Yaya! And I think red lace would look a…am…amazing on you." Amu said shyly. She had to start somewhere to adjust back into society, why not now? And why not here? So, they went shopping and tried on so many clothes, they felt like they had bought an entire store. All five girls giggling and joking about. Amu had forgotten about her phone and all the stuff that was happening at home. So, she had invited the girls to her house to have a fashion show. "Come girls, my house is right around the corner, we can try out all the stuff and have a sleepover, if that's cool with you?" all the girls cheered in response. _

_For once Amu was glad that her parents weren't home since they were so busy tending to every beck and call of Ami's. The walk to Amu's house was short, but a winding path, hidden by towering bushes and tree's intended to give the people in the area privacy. Soon the girls reached the gates to a mansion, the gates were a sparkling silver that shone brightly in the moonlight. Beyond those gates laid acres and acres of green lands, bushes trimmed neatly in the shape of cute guardian angels around the edges of the land. And right there, smack bang in the middle was a flowing fountain. It was exactly those classical, overbearing mansions. At least that's what Amu thought as she pushed open the side gate to enter the palace like house. The girls entered. Yaya, Ran, Su, Miki and Pepe were standing, gazing up at the house in pure awe, it was safe to say they like her place. "Guys, if you just stand there, I lock you outtt." Amu sung out to her friends. They all hurried to her side and waited her to open the door. 'HUH, wasn't the door looked? Nobody should be home now. The maids go home by 8 and Mom, Dad and Ami should be out in Atlanta on business.' Amu, shrugged of the worry, thinking that one of the maids probably forgot to lock up fully. It wasn't like she was going to snitch anyway. The girls stepped into the house, which was unusually lit. All the lights in the house shone brightly and her scowling mother was waiting for her at the entrance of the house. She was definitely angry. But when she saw the guests she put on a façade, welcoming them in ever so graciously. _

_She made sure they were fed, had clothes to wear for the night and that their uniforms would be washed and dried by the morning. As the other girls headed upstairs to their respective rooms, the explosions began. _

_"WHY DO YOU CHOOSE WORRY US LIKE THIS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH MY MIND? I THOUGHT THAT THE FAMOUS DAUGHTHER OF EASTER COMPANY WAS KIDNAPPED AND A RANSOME WOULD BE ASKED OF US! YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE TO COME STRAIGHT HOME AFTER YOUR THERAPY SESSION. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FRATANIZE WITH PEASANTS LIKE YUIKI YAYA! HER MOTHER WORKS FOR ME. SO DOES HER DAMNED FIANCE! YOU CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW EMBARSING THIS WHOLE ORDEAL IS FOR ME! AMI HAS NEVER GIVEN ME SUCH TROUBLE AND SHE IS YOUNGER THAN YOU! LEARN SOMETHING FROM YOUR SISTER!" Hinamori Midori screeched at Amu. Amu just stood there, unflinchingly, for her this was nothing new. This is how she actually lost all of her friends. She was never safe. Amu nodded and walked way, she walked towards the winding staircase that lead to the other girls' rooms._

_ She went up silently, expecting the girls to be asleep and pretending to not have heard anything but the girls were still awake, gossiping about how hot Yaya's boyfriend is. And how good look their new home room teacher was. Amu went in and was immediately engulfed in a hug by the girls, no questions were asked. But the only thing that was left on their to do list was the fashion show. Let the show start! _

_Heyyyy guys! What do you think? Things really went from 0 to 100 didn't they? Well I have a couple more tricks up my sleeve so stay tuned for more. And please remember to R&R if you managed to get this far! _

_Love you guys_

_Zee-chan! _


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